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[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Since writing in her diary, Elena hasn't been able to touch it. She had taken to writing into it every day again after she turned her humanity back on. It's helped her keep herself afloat, express things that she knows she needs to so she never feels herself pushed back in the wrong direction again. But she's still feeling a little too empty and numb from Dean's departure. She's handling it better than she thought she would. But there's still just something so very important and essential missing now. She tells herself it will take time and she halfway believes herself.]

[Today, Elena is attempting to write in her diary. She's moved out from her room and is sitting on the deck with it. Her back is against the arm of one of the benches, knees brought close so she has something to write on. But all she's managed is the date. After a while, she closes it and lowers her legs, tucking the diary and her pen underneath them and instead decides to watch the sky above.]

[Eventually, she goes to the library and plucks out the copy of Pride and Prejudice she might as well just keep with how many times she's taken it off the shelf. She used to love it. Then she hated it. Now it was just something familiar and she was content enough to curl up with it in one of the chairs. She doesn't even bother to put it down once she gets hungry enough to make her way to the mess hall. Elena's senses are sharp enough that she can multitask reading and not crashing into anyone in the hallways. She takes her pint of blood substitute and makes her way back to her cabin. Elena's still not one to drink in front of other people if only because she knows it's probably off-putting and likely nauseating to them.]

Comments

[lastrat]

[He smiles without looking at her, leaning to stretch his arms across the back of the bench. His eyes stay on the stars, because truth be told this sight has always unnerved him a little, no matter how beautiful it is. Most days, he convinces himself it looks too real to be so, but sometimes the vastness weighs too heavily on him.

Dragging his eyes away, he turns his head to fave her, mouth curled at the corner. He's more than a little inept, but somehow these kids have managed to make him look farther inward than he has in his entire life.]

When did I start qualifying as a hermit?

[forgetyourusedtobe]

When I started not seeing you for a while, [Elena says, nudging him with a foot.]

[Which, if she's honest, isn't just him. Elena hasn't exactly been all that out and about since she got back. First she was too busy looking after Dean and trying to figure out how to prepare for that other Barge again while also trying to navigate the waters between her and Abigail. Then Dean left and things haven't really been the same.]

[But she's out now. She's trying to pick up her old routine little by little.]

[lastrat]

[He glances at her foot, considers telling her this is Tom Ford, you know, and decides against it. Instead his mouth pulls at the corner, taking in a breath to answer, almost a smile.]

That may have something to do with you leaving.

[The almost-smile becomes a wry smirk. He doesn't ask how she's doing specifically: that should be implied in this whole conversation. Shouldn't it?]

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Elena tries to give him a Look that tells him to stop being such a smart-ass, but she can't manage it for more than a second before she's laughing and shaking her head.]

Maybe. Lucky for you that's not happening any time soon no matter how rough it gets here.

[lastrat]

A break's not bad.

[He gives her a small smile when she laughs before facing forward again, lacing his fingers together in his lap.]

Though I wouldn't have minded one slightly shorter than six years.

[His mouth twists at the corner, and it might be another smile. He doesn't care how rough it gets, here, that isn't quite his problem with the Barge. It doesn't help him loathe it any less, but he misses proper action, misses knowing his purpose and his mission.

Melancholy doesn't sit well with him, though; Bond looks at her from the corner of his eye, arching his eyebrows.]

Yes, lucky me. What shall two recovering hermits do in the mean time?

[forgetyourusedtobe]

I'm still working on the part, [Elena admits with a small shrug.] There should really be a self-improvement book on this or something.

[And maybe that's the hardest part about this right now. With Dean around, she knew she had someone who would always put her in the right direction. Not to say that there weren't others, but Dean was someone she could always rely on in an immediate moment. He was one of the few she didn't feel like she was always a burden when she went to him with a problem.]

[Now that's gone and she's got to figure things out on her own. Independence sucks.]

What are your plans for the day besides hanging out with a mopey teenager?

[lastrat]

I wouldn't read it if there was.

[In fact, he might burn it and walk away, like he does with most of his problems. The question gives him pause, makes him realize how predictably rote his days have become. He may not be a hermit, but he is predictable. All of a sudden, he doesn't want to go to the gym, he doesn't want to go to the firing range, he doesn't want the endless repetition of practice, practice, practice.

Standing, Bond straightens his clothes and raises his eyebrows.]

Join me for a walk? [He nods up toward the CES deck.]

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Elena cants her head and looks in the direction of the CES deck before she starts to smile. It's that kind of smile like there's a private joke that out of the two of them, she's the only one who understands it and explaining it wouldn't make it funny to him.]

I don't have anything better to do, [she says, getting to her feet and holding her diary to her chest.]

[lastrat]

[He knows those smiles, and he knows better than to ask. When she stands, he smiles wryly and leads the way to the stairs.]

Well, so long as I'm not keeping you from anything important. [He holds the door for her.]

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Careful, Jimmy, [she says stepping inside, pausing a moment to draw a deep breath of fake fresh air. None of it is real, but she can still smell all of the surrounding nature like it is. Something like this was incredibly overwhelming at first. Now she thinks she'd feel like the world suddenly became muted for her if she couldn't.] You're starting to turn into a gentleman.

[lastrat]

[He chuckles while giving the impression of a huff, and steps through behind her. The saltwater smell hits him immediately, overpowering the sand, the distant trees. It takes him a moment, but he recognizes the beach eventually, and makes a quiet 'hm' sound in the back of his throat.]

I've been a gentleman longer than you've been alive.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

I think we have different definitions of what a gentleman is.

[Elena rolls her eyes (with a smile) as though that's the most absurd thing she's ever heard as she steps further along the beach until eventually she gives up and toes off her shoes, scooping them up to walk barefoot in the sand.]

Do you know where this is?

[lastrat]

[He just smiles until she asks, and nods as he looks around.]

Fethiye. Turkey. Doesn't look quite the same without the bars and huts.

[He had a lot of quickies on this beach, while his minor organs and ribs healed. What? He has priorities.]

They played a game in one - you let a scorpion crawl onto your hand, and drink a shot without it stinging you.

Bought the whole bar a round for winning.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Elena makes a face although she doesn't know why she's even a little bit surprised he would know about this. He probably would have spent the night playing it over and over again.]

We're gonna have to work on finding you some better hobbies.

[But still she laughs despite herself.]

[lastrat]

[He smiles when she pulls that face, shrugging nonchalantly.]

Are you sure you don't want to try it? We could probably find a scorpion. [He kicks at some sand like he's actually looking.]

[forgetyourusedtobe]

I don't think that'd even count as a challenge for me. Fast reflexes, remember?

[Not that she'd honestly want a scorpion on her even if it couldn't hurt her. She's not the skittish type who'd let out a giant shriek over it, but still. If she can go without, she'd be down for that.]

[lastrat]

I'd watch you do it all the same. [Not that he thinks she'd scream, but he is fairly certain the faces she'd make would be hilarious.

Kicking off his shoes, he starts down the beach, looking around to get his bearings. He points to the left.]

I washed ashore about a kilometer in that direction.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Good for him that he doesn't share that thought out loud or Elena would definitely smack him for it.]

[Elena almost asks what made him wash up on a shore, but she has a feeling it probably wasn't the usual reasons most people wash up on shore. She also isn't sure if it's something he necessarily wants to dive into or if he even will.]

You didn't do anything embarrassing like start trying to build a raft or something, did you?

[lastrat]

[He grunts a laugh, shaking his head.]

I mentioned the bars. This beach wasn't quite so abandoned, when I was here. [He nods toward distant mountains.] Fethiye has some hundred thousand people living in it.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

And how many of those hundred thousand people did you freak out washing up on the shore?

[In other words, just how much of a mess was he?]

[lastrat]

[He holds up his thumb and first two fingers.]

A woman and her cousin found me. I met her mother when I woke up as she cleaned my wounds.

[Pretty dang bad, but he's good at making light of that shit.]

I was very concerned as to the whereabouts of my trousers. [Before he lost consciousness again, anyway.]

[forgetyourusedtobe]

You wash up on the shore, possibly almost dead, and your first thought is where your pants are.

[She'd give him a look over it if that wasn't so predictable. As it is, Elena just shakes her head.]

[lastrat]

They gave me what I can only assume was the equivalent of a morphine drip.

[He smiles as if he can sense the look she'd be giving him.]

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Your regular doctor must love you.

[Assuming he even sees a doctor regularly. She's leaning towards that not being the case.]

[lastrat]

[Bond just smiles, shaking his head in amusement. It's definitely not the case.

Usually it's just whatever hospital he's near when he's hurt. The last physical he took was - well, MI6's physicals are a bit more grueling than the norm.]

I'm sure he would. [if he existed....]